Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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