he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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