Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
