I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
