Having a random hookup so left but love u
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
