if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
