week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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