i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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