ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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