Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
