....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
