Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
