the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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