She said her name was "party"
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize