Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
