and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
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I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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