she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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