did you get engaged???
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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