Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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