margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
