I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
