I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
