I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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