Sry I called you an 8
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
