Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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