You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
