I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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