I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
