This gyro tastes like lonliness
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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