i would punch a child for taco bell
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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