I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
