I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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