we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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