I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
