stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
