so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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