i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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