my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
