508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
