Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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