So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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