the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
