Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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