my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
