is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I need a hoe opinion
go on
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
