You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
