I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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