i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
