she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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