ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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