Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
