Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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