in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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