so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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