We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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