I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
