sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
