That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
