You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
